It was beautiful outside today. Warm but not too hot, cool but not too cool and Graham and I actually hung out. Just him and me. We walked and talked and talked and walked. I smoked cigarettes and he told me I smoke a lot.
The boy is complex. He has a lot to him, just like his brother and just like his brother, he keeps a lot to himself. We have known each other for just over three months now and his is he first time he's really opened up to me.
It was nice.

So we walked and walked and walked until we found a path leading tithe river. It was steep and muddy and did we venture down that steep and muddy path? Yeah we did. Would you ever think we'd do anything else? Pffft.

So, after the muddy slide down the path, we found our place along the ice. Throwing rocks happened. Laughter happened. Building a makeshift bench out of a door happened. And surprisingly, I remembered what it is I like to do. I don't like shopping(..just a bit) or hanging out at a mall. I like walking, good conversation, cigarettes and good times. Pretty muh, just doing "nothing". Graham and I sat and talked for hours about everyhing an anything and I realised that I really missed doing things like that. Sure hanging out with people is awesome and it's great but it alway ends in "wanna go to the pub?" or "let's go chill at sk and so's place!" which, sometimes, I just don't want to do. Today was pretty much my perfect day. Hanging out with an awesome dude, just talking, looking out at the frozen river and making awesome plans. The only things that could have made it better were: coffee in my hand(to go with my cigarettes of course), art stuff and my camera. But now I know for next time.

Ya know, if someone were to come up to me when I was 18 or so and ask if I imagined myself doing something like this in the future I'd say hell no, because I'd would still be with Matt and if I were still with him now, my sense of selfworth would probably be destroyed and therefore I would be doing nothing unless he told me too... Ugh whatever! Shitty relationships are shitty. I may actually write about that later.

Who knew that this is where I would end up? Feeling loved by my significant other and his family? It's something I have never felt so in a way, I'm still getting used to it. It's a nice feeling.

I think I've needed something like this for a while. A healthy relationship. Shhh it is great. And now, I'm doing this while Ian is playing Twilight Princess. It's chill. I'm down. Also he kinda sucks but maybe that's just because I'm the Zelda master. Who knows.

So, I bid farewell for now reader. I am done.


Also, the weather is getting better. So is my life...? Such a good way to start off spring